Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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