Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
