Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
