I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
