Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
