Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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