i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
