You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
