uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
