dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
