I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Terrible idea I love it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
