The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
