I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize