im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
