I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
