Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
