I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
