Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
