I feel like abortions should bother me more
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
