i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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