I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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