have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish i was in the wii world.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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