And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
