sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
