Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize