elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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