I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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