she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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