I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
