I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He felt like a one man threesome
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
