She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
