I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
