Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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