In the future we'll all be gay
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
