remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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