I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
