I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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