I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
