I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
