You're so nebulous sometimes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
