i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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