Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
