It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
