Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
