So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Bring me that man meat
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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