well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
