this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize