he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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