Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
