TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize