I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We had to coat check the pizza.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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