I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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