Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize