I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
