Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
