Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
