i was born a porn star she said
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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